I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
