This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
