Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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