using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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