How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
