I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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