puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
