She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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