There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
You can't motorboat a personality
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
my sisters under your porch take her home
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
