my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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