yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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