Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
Randomize
