I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
