I can tuck mytits in my pants
Tell her she can't have a vagina
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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