Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
