i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Randomize
