just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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