You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
