what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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