You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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