we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
third nipple confirmed
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
