I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Randomize
