So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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