At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
