Don't you send me to vm
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
