Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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