you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
They took my balls.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Randomize
