The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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