and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize