He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Randomize
