Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
