please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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