I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
