Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
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