She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
