you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
The dick lei will go down in squad history
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
