I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
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