so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Randomize
