even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
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