oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize