I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
