oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
