Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
"it" just moved
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
