Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Im just a social blackout drinker.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
