At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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