its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
