Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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