Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
And then he peed in my hair
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