all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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