and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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