He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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