its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
