Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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