she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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