no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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