why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
