I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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