I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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