If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Randomize
