His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
