"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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