Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
