To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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