I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
