Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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